hi, i have a problem i would like to know what to do.. im 25 yrs old,
my wife is 21..we have been married for 7 months now...we live in
canada.. we both work full time.. i am a dentist ..before we got
married my wife used to visit pornographic web sites.. i started to
notice unusual sexual behaviors during our first week .. then she told
me.. she promised it was all over, but it wasnt... she still visits
these web sites when im not around..at the end she confronted to me
that it was an addiction following her since she was a child... by the
way i am very healthy, and we perform sex almost everyday..we did some
mistakes)like watching pono together at the first, i know it was
stupid, but i did atoob from that completely( from what i noticed she
is bisexual) she fantasises about women to(.. i noticed this when we
have sex, she talks about being with women..we perform our prayers
everyday 5 times together, she is wearing higab, and looks very
consevative. she has a history of depression in her family..we are
expecting a child in 4 months.. i am very worried about her, and us,
and our life.. i cant live like this... please please i need help and
advise , we both want this all over... i love her , but i told her
that if it ever happens , im going to divorce her... she loves me and
hates to that.. i would appreciate your advice, im a brother muslim
sunni...i need to know if this is normal for women) bisex(, and need a
solution please.. thank u..
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify
that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that
Muhammadis His slave and Messenger.
First of all, it should be mentioned that watching pornographic films
is a very serious matter and this is most predominantly the main
reason why your wife is attracted to women. There is no doubt that
this is abnormal and it contradicts the desires of the people who have
a soundFitrah)natural disposition upon which Allaah created mankind(.
Indeed you did well by repenting from seeing such films and you should
eradicate this evil from your home.
Firstly, you should advise your wife in a nice and soft manner and
clarify to her that this matter is forbidden and very dangerous for
her and perhaps for the entire family because sins may be the reason
for many calamities. Allaah Says )what means(: }And whatever strikes
you of disaster -- it is for what your hands have earned; but He
pardons much.{]Quran 42:30[
Secondly, you should prevent your wife from watching such films and
keep away from her all the means that may be helpful to her in this
regard. This may help her to repent and you should also remind her to
be honest and sincere with Allaah in willing to repent from such sin.
If she is sincere, Allaah will enable her and guide her to repent.
Thirdly, your wife should earnestly supplicate Allaah and remember
that she will stand before Him and He will judge her about every small
and big matter.
For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 90562and 89844.
On the other hand, we do not advise you to hasten to divorce her
especially that she observes the prayer and wears Hijjaab as you
mentioned in the question. Rather, you should continue to advise her
and endeavour to reform her. It is most likely that she will take heed
and become righteous.
If this is achieved, then all perfect praise be to Allaah, but if she
insists on that condition, then it might be better to divorce her
because there is no good in keeping marital relationships with a woman
who insists on watching such films as it is not safe that this will
lead her to harm your honour )by having illicit relations(.
Allaah Knows best.
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Regards,
NAJIMUDEEN M/
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