Welcome to Islam, - Islam's pivotal role in Europe's intellectual and cultural rebirth

None of the great intellectual and cultural movements of the West,
like the Renaissance, the Protestant Reformation, the Enlightenment of
the 18th century CE and the Romantic Movement of the 19thcentury CE,
could have been possible without Europe's connection with Islamic
thought and culture, and Islam's impact on Europe through Spain,
southern France and southern Italy.
"Islam," writes Stanwood Cobb, "impinging culturally upon adjacent
Christian countries, was the virtual creator of the Renaissance
inEurope".
"It was Islam which had transformed mediaeval, intolerant Europe into
a new and modern, rationalist, humanist, tolerant and
scientificEurope. Freedom of thought and expression were unknown in
the mediaevalEuropedominated by the Catholic Church; scientific
speculation was taboo!" )Islamic Contribution to Civilization(
The Renaissance marked the beginning of a new phase in civilization,
where new thought and culture came into being. The impact of Islamic
civilization onEuropelaid the foundation for a new, modern
civilization in the West. The question arises as to how the great
change inEuropecame about. The popular theory )which has no historical
basis( that with the capture of Constantinople by the Turks in 1453
CE, Greek scholars came over to Italy and with them the era of light
and learning started, is rejected by all honest scholars of the West.
The distinguished historian, Robert Briffault, writes in his
well-known workThe Making of Humanity:"The light from which
civilization was once more rekindled did not arise from any embers of
Greco-Roman culture smoldering amid the ruins of Europe, or from the
living death on the Bosphorus )Byzantine Empire( It did not come from
the Northern but from the Southern invaders of the Empire, from the
Saracens!! It was under the influence of the Arabian and Moorish
revival of culture, and not in the 15th century CE, that the real
Renaissance took place.Spain, notItaly, was the cradle of the rebirth
ofEurope."
The period between the end of the 10th century and the 12th century CE
was marked by the dominance of Arab thought and civilization in
southernEurope.
"The greatest achievements of antiquity were due to the Greek Western
genius," writes George Sarton, a distinguished historian, "the
greatest achievements of the Middle Ages were due to the Muslim
Eastern genius. During this period )1100-1250 CE( 'the West was
assimilating the East."
"It was then," continues Sarton, "that the conflicting cultures were
brought most closely together, especially the Christian and Muslim,
and that their inter-penetration constituted the solid core of the
newEurope."
The view of Sarton was supported by Condorcet, one of the most
enlightened thinkers of the French Age of Reason and Enlightenment,
who acknowledged Europe's debt to the Muslim Arabs in these words:
"They )Arabs( translated Aristotle and studied his works: they
cultivated astronomy, optics, and the various branches of medicine and
enriched these sciences with new truths. We owe to them the spread of
the use of Algebra. With the Arabs the sciences were free, and this
freedom was due to their success in reviving some sparks of the Greek
genius.... People learnt the Arabic language, they read Arab writings...."
Post-Renaissance Western civilization is not a Christian civilization.
In its foundational ideal and values, such as the dignity of man,
man's rationality, unity and equality of mankind, humanism,
liberalism, human freedom and human rights, science, technology and
industrialism and, above all, the rule of law and justice, it is
closer to Islam's moral, social and legal ideals than to mediaeval
Christianity.
Islam affirms freedom of religion and enjoins the duty of justice to
one and all without any racial or religious prejudices and hatred.
Modern civilization is no longer merely Western. All nations, without
distinction of race and religion, accept and enshrine in their
constitution all the moral, social, economic and legal ideals of the
contemporary civilization as enshrined in the United Nations' Charter
and in the United Nations' Universal Declaration of Human Rights.
All these are explicitly declared in Islam's Holy Book, The Quran, and
were proclaimed by the Prophet Muhammad,sallallaaahu 'alayhi wa
sallam,)may Allaah exalt his mention( in his sayings and through his
actions, especially in his farewell address at his last pilgrimage.
This address may be considered the first charter of human rights,
wherein the Prophet,sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam,declared the unity
and equality of humankind, and put an end to all the primitive,
barbarous and inhuman traditions and customs of the Age of Ignorance,
such as tribal pride, prejudice, hatred and female infanticide.

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Welcome to Islam, - Contribution of Islam to the world's civilization

Let us remember our great and glorious heritage by briefly surveying
what Islam has already contributed to the world's civilization,
education, culture and to scientific development.
Unlike Christianity where Religion and Science are two separate
elements, the study of Science has always been compatible with Islam.
Many young Muslims are discouraged when they see the poor standard of
living of Muslims throughout the world and their limited
opportunities. They also know the undeveloped status of technology
within the Muslim countries in comparison with the West. From these
observations, they immediately leap to the conclusion that the Muslim
countries are 'backward', because Islam cannot adapt itself to the
changing conditions; cannot assimilate new knowledge. Some even go so
far as to say that Islam is actually against progress and against
scientific advancement. However, those Muslims who have studied the
later part of Islamic history will know that this is a complete
fallacy and misconception.
Let us do a brief review of the contribution of Islam to civilization
as we know it.
Trigonometry, Sine, Tangent, Co-Tangent
The Arabs developed these functions in trigonometry and Ibn Moosaa's
workHisaab-Al Jab-Wal Muqaabala)The Calculation of Integration and
Equation( presented 800 examples in the 8thcentury CE. His work was
translated from Arabic into Latin and until the 16th century CE, it
wasEurope's main textbook on the subject.
Algebra and Geometry
Muhammad bin Moosaa Al-Khawaarizmi is considered to be one of the
founders of Algebra. The word 'Algorithm' or 'Algorizm' is a
corruption of his name or the name of the town Khwaarizm )Kheva(, in
what is now Uzbekistan, where he wasborn. He adopted the use of
'cipher' )zero(, that was devised in India some centuries earlier, a
numeral of fundamental importance, leading up to the so-called
arithmetic of positions and the decimal system. The very word 'zero'
is a derivative of the Arabic 'sifr' or 'cipher'. His pioneering work
on the system of numerals is well known as "Algorithm," or "Algorizm."
In addition to introducing the Arabic numerals, he developed several
arithmetical procedures, including operations on fractions.
Another great mathematician was Omar Khayyaam, who offered to the
world geometric and algebraic solutions of the second degree.
Naseeruddeen wrote the treatise on quadrilateral trigonometry, as well
as plain and spherical geometry.
Physics and Chemistry
Kamaaluddeen examined the refraction of sunlight in raindrops and
offered an explanation of the genesis of primary and secondary
rainbows. The story of the invention of the pendulum and the
presentation of a water clock to Emperor Charlemagne by Haaroon
Ar-Rasheed is well known.
The great historian Gibbons wrote in hisDecline and Fall of the Roman
Empire)Volume 5( that the science of chemistry owes its origin and
improvements to the Muslims.
Science of Mechanics
The development of the science of mechanics in Islam is an act of
genius. Moosaa bin Shaakir described one hundred pieces of mechanical
equipment in his book of artifices. Other outstanding Muslim treatises
includedAl Kitaab Fi Ma`rifat Al-Hiya Al-Handasiyyah)The Book of the
Knowledge of Ingenious Geometrical Contrivances( by Abul Fiaz bin Al
Raz andAl Kitaab Meezanal-Hikmah)The Book of Balance and Wisdom( by
Al-Khazini. He also did work on accurate weighing, and determination
of the specific gravity of substances.
Camera Obscura
In the field of optics, Camera Obscura was invented by Ibn Haytham in 1038 CE.
Theory of Relativity
Qaadhi Abu Bakr had developed the theory of relativity in the
8thcentury CE in terms of time and space by means of mathematical
equations and astrophysics. Imagine, Einstein was not even born in the
Western world, who propounded the same theory of relativity much later
in the 20thcentury CE.
Geography
As far as geography was concerned, Muslim scientists established that
the world was round in the 9thcentury CE, and the first map of the
globe was made during the Caliphate of Ma'moon.
Paper Making
This was one of the earliest skills attained by the Muslims. As early
as the 8thcentury CE, high quality paper was being manufactured in
Samarqand.Egyptwas known to have its first paper mill in the year 900
CE. The earliest Arabic manuscript written on paper that has been
discovered is theGhareeb Al Hadeethby Abu 'Ubayed, dated 837 CE. It
can be seen inHollandpreserved in the library at
theUniversityofLeyden.
Advances in Industry
Under Islamic rule,Spainwas an industrial center. It was one of the
wealthiest and most thickly populated of the European countries.
Muslims were leading in weaving wool, producing silk, pottery,
jewelry, leather and perfume industry. In the Middle Ages, world trade
was commanded by Muslims andBaghdad, Bukhaara and Samarqand remained
centers for world fairs until the 16thcentury CE. The Bayt Al-Hikmah
atCairocontained two million books, the library atTripolicontained
some three million, but this library was burned down by the Christians
during the first Crusade.
Miracles of the Quran
Let us consider the hundreds of scientific facts mentioned in the Holy
Quran. For example, the fact that the earth was previously a part of
the sun and after its separation, it became a habitable place for
humankind, as mentioned in chapter 21, verse 30. That matter is made
up of sub-atomic particles )chapter 10, verse 61(. That the embryo in
the mother's womb in enclosed by three epithelial coverings )chapter
39, verse 6(. That each human being has a unique fingerprint )chapter
75, verse 4( etc. There are thousands of other scientific facts in the
Holy Quran.
Regrettably, today the West is at its peak and we have lagged behind
so far. However, our downfall is not due to Islam, as the West would
like us to believe, but due to our sheer neglect of Islamic
principles. We must realize that Islam is undeniably the most
progressive religion, which is in fact a way of life with a very wide
scope.
Of course, life is a very hard struggle. However, struggle is an
inbuilt instinct of human nature. Struggle is a way but not an
accomplishment or attainment in itself. We should make an effort and
struggle but at the same time make Du'aa. This is where Tawakkul, i.e.
trust in Allaah comes because destiny supersedes thought. We must
trust in Allaah for our betterment, because if success depended merely
upon one's personal struggle, then nobody in the world would be
unsuccessful. Furthermore, struggle is itself predestined by Allaah.
Man should do his best, then leave the rest to Allaah, Most High.

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Welcome to Islam, - The Unique Characteristics of Our Civilization - II

4. The fourth of these characteristics is that it believes in
knowledge in the truest sense, based on belief in the purest
principles. So it addressed the rational mind and the heart at the
same time, it provoked emotions and thought at the same time. This is
an advantage that has not been shared by any other civilization in
history. The reason why this particular characteristic of our
civilization is to be so admired is because it was able to establish a
state system based on principles of truth and justice, based on
religion and belief without religion becoming an obstacle to the
development of the state and the progress of the civilization. Rather
religion was one of the greatest factors in its development. From the
mosques of Baghdad, Damascus, Cairo, Cordoba and Granada the rays of
knowledge shone into all parts of the world. Islamic civilization is
the only one in which religion was not separated from the state even
though it was spared the misery that resulted from the mixing of the
two as happened in Europe in the Middle Ages. The head of state was
the Caliph and a leader of the believers )Ameer Al-Mu'mineen(, but he
ruled in accordance with the truth, and legislation was left to those
scholars who were specialized in that field. Each group of scholars
had its field of specialization, and all of them were equal before the
law. Superiority was determined by one's level oftaqwa)piety( and
service to people:
The Prophet sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam said:"By Allaah, if Faatimah
the daughter of Muhammad were to steal, Muhammad would certainly cut
off her hand."
This is the religion on which our civilization is based; no special
privileges and immunities are there for a chief )Caliph, President,
Prime Minister(, a clergyman, noble or rich...
Allaah Almighty Says what means:}Say, "I am only a man like
you..."}]Quran 18: 110[
5. The last of these unique characteristics of our civilization is
this amazing religious tolerance which has never been seen in any
other civilization that was based on religion. If a person does not
believe in any religion or any god, it is not strange for him to
regard all religions as being equal and to treat the followers of all
religions fairly; but if a person follows a religion and believes that
his religion is true and that his belief is the best of beliefs, then
he wields the sword and conquers cities, taking power and sitting in
the position of a judge, but his belief in his religion and his pride
in his belief does not cause him to be unfair in his judgments or to
deviate from the path of justice, or force people to follow his
religion... it is strange to find such a man in history, so how about
an entire civilization which is based on religion but was the most
tolerant, just, compassionate and humane civilization known to
history! This is how our civilization was, and we will mention dozens
of examples later on. It is sufficient here to note that our
civilization is unique in history because it was established by one
religion but it was for all religions.
These are some of the unique features of our civilization when
compared to the history of other civilizations. Hence, it was admired
by the whole world and loved by free and intelligent people of all
races and religions, at the time when it was strong and when it was
ruling, directing, educating and teaching people. When it collapsed
and was succeeded by another civilization, the way in which people
looked at it changed. Some began to look down on it and others admired
it. Some spoke of its virtues and some went to extremes in criticizing
it. Thus, the views of western researchers differ concerning our
civilization. They would not have done that were it not for the fact
that they -- the ones who set the standards and whose opinions are
followed are in a position of strength and are behind the steering
wheel of civilization nowadays, whereas those who are being judged,
along with their civilization, are in a position of weakness and are
the ones whom the strong are planning to rob of their resources and to
rule their country with avarice. Perhaps this is the attitude of the
strong towards the weak, whom they despise and belittle. This is what
the strong have always done throughout history, apart from us when we
were strong, for we were fair towards people, strong and weak alike,
and we acknowledged virtue in easterners and westerners alike. Our
history of exemplary characteristics includes fairness in judgment,
purity of intention and sincerity of conscience.
It is unfortunate that we did not really notice the bias of the strong
against us, or their unfairness in judging our civilization. Many of
them were either religious fanatics whose prejudice blinded their eyes
to the truth, or nationalist fanatics whose nationalistic pride made
them refuse to attribute anything good to anyone who was not of their
nation. But what is our excuse for being influenced by their view of
our civilization? Why do some of our own people look down on a
civilization to which the whole world bended the knee for many
centuries?
Perhaps the excuse of those who belittle the worth of our civilization
is that it is nothing when compared with the wonders, inventions and
scientific marvels of modem civilization. Even if this is true, it
does not justify looking down on our civilization for two reasons:
1.Every civilization consists of two elements: a spiritual ands
ethical element, and a material element.
With regard to the material element, undoubtedly each civilization
supersedes those that came before. This is one of the laws that Allaah
has decreed for the development of life. It is nonsense to expect an
earlier civilization to have reached the level of material development
of a subsequent civilization; if that were acceptable, then it would
be permissible for us to look down on all the civilizations that came
before our own, because of the things that our civilization has
invented and the means and manifestations of civilization that were
not known to any of the earlier civilizations. So the material element
of civilization can never be the basis for differentiating between
them.
It is the spiritual and ethical element that makes civilizations
endure and enables them to bring happiness to mankind and save mankind
from fear and pain. Our civilization surpasses all previous and
subsequent civilizations in this regard, and it reached a level that
has never been matched in any age of history. This is enough to give
our civilization a lasting impact.
The purpose of civilization is to enable man to reach the highest
degree of happiness, and in this regard our civilization managed to do
what no other civilization in the east or in the west managed to do.
2.Civilizations are not measured by materialistic standards or by
quantities or areas, or by luxurious standards of living, food and
clothing. Rather they are measured by the impact they have on human
history. The same applies when we speak of battles and kingdoms; they
are not measured by the size of the battlefield or the numbers of
soldiers. The decisive battles of ancient times or of the Middle Ages
cannot be compared to the battles of the Second World War, for
although the numbers of soldiers and the means of fighting may appear
insignificant, they are still regarded as important historical battles
because of their far-reaching effects. The battle of Cannae in which
the famous Carthaginian general Hannibal defeated the Romans is one of
the battles that are still studied in the military colleges of Europe
to this day. The battles of Khaalid ibn al-Waleed in the conquest of
Syria are still studied and admired by western military experts, and
for us they are golden pages in the history of military conquest in
our civilization. The fact that the battles of Cannae, Badr,
Al-Qadisiyah and Hit-teen happened so long ago does not snake people
ignore that they were decisive historical battles.

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If u fail. never give up bcoz F.A.I.L means "FIRST ATTEMPT IN LEARNING" End is not the end, In fact E.N.D means "EFFORT NEVER DIES" If u get no as an answer, Remember N.O means "NEXT APPORTUNITY" So lets be positive.. .. - GOOD MORNING! & HAPPY SUNDAY!!

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Dought & clear, - If the alcohol in perfume is poisonous

If the alcohol in which perfume is dissolved is of a type that is
poisonous, not intoxicating, is it permissible to use this perfume?
Praise be to Allaah.
I put this question to our Shaykh, al-Mufti al-'Allaamah 'Abd
al-'Azeez ibn 'Abd-Allaah ibn Baaz, who replied that it is permissible
to use this as perfume, and there does not seem to be any reason not
to do so. And Allaah knows best.

Dought & clear, - Why is it forbidden to drink alcohol?

Why does islam prohibit drinking alcohol even in small amounts? And
what does Koran say about it?
Praise be to Allaah.
No doubt alcohol is intoxicating, and contains this substance that
makes people lose their minds. It says in the hadeeth, "Every
intoxicant iskhamr, and everykhamris haraam (forbidden)." If this is
the case, then alcohol is considered to be forbidden and to come under
the heading of "khamr"(wine, etc.) which people drink for relaxation
or enjoyment. Allaah has forbidden it and stated that it is a sin, as
He says (interpretation of the meaning):
"They ask you (O Muhammad) concerning alcoholic drink and gambling.
Say: 'In them is a great sin, and (some) benefits for men, but the sin
of them is greater than their benefit'"
[al-Baqarah 2:219]
If sin is present and it is great, then it is forbidden. Undoubtedly
this alcohol is harmful to the mind and body, and Allaah has forbidden
everything that harms the body and mind, and saps the strength.
Everything that is harmful to a person is not permitted, because
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"And do not kill yourselves"
[al-Nisaa' 4:29]
"and do not throw yourselves into destruction"
[al-Baqarah 2:195]
And because this is an extravagant waste of money, an action of the
spendthrift which comes under the words of Allaah (interpretation of
the meaning):
"Verily, the spendthrifts are brothers of the Shayaateen (devils)
[al-Israa 17:27]
Using alcohol in ways other than drinking it may be permitted if small
amounts are used, such as mixing it with perfumes that are used on
clothes or the body, because it keeps them from spoiling, and because
it keeps the clothes clean. This is OK, but drinking it is not
permissible under any circumstances.

Dought & clear, - Ruling on vinegar made from wine

Are wine and spirit vinegar halal? Considering all vinegar is made
from oxidising a form of alcohol and that normal vinegar is supposed
to be halal?
Praise be to Allaah.
Vinegar is a well known basic foodstuff, made from wine of which the
composition has changed so that it is no longer sweet but is acidic or
sour.
Jaabir (may Allaah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "What a good food is
vinegar." (Reported by Muslim, 3/1623)
When wine turns to vinegar by itself, without any deliberate treatment
needed for it to be changed, it is permissible to eat, drink and
handle it, according to the consensus of the scholars, because of the
hadeeth quoted above.
But if the wine has become vinegar because of deliberate treatment, by
adding vinegar, onions, salt etc., or by any other process, in this
case the scholars (may Allaah have mercy on them) differ as to whether
it is permissible.
The Shafi'is, Hanbalis and some of the Maalikis say that it is not
permissible to deliberately change wine to vinegar because then it is
not pure. The evidence (daleel) for this is the hadeeth of Anas ibn
Maalik (may Allaah be pleased with him) who said: "The Messenger of
Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was asked whether
wine could be changed to be used as vinegar. He said, 'No.'" (Reported
by Muslim).
Abu Talhah (may Allaah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was asked about some
orphans who had inherited some wine. He said, "Pour it away." He was
asked, "Could they not make it into vinegar?" He said, "No." (Reported
by Muslim).
The reason for this is:
Allaah, may He be glorified and exalted, has commanded us to avoid
wine. Keeping it and treating it until it turns into vinegar means
handling it and being involved with it by storing it and benefitting
from it, and this is not permitted.
It is permitted for a Muslim to buy vinegar from someone who is
selling it, unless he realizes or comes to know that it was produced
by means of a deliberate process. 'Umar (may Allaah be pleased with
him) said: "... There is nothing wrong with a man buying vinegar from
the people of the Book, if they sell it, so long as he knows that they
did not deliberately process it from wine." (Al-Mughni, 8/330)
And Allaah knows best.
(Bidaayat al-Mujtahid li Ibn Rushd, 1/461; Kashshaaf al-Qinaa'
li'l-Bahwati, 1/187; Fath al-Qadeer li Ibn al-Hammaam, 8/166;
al-Majmoo' li'l-Nawawi, 1/225; al-Mughni li Ibn Qudaamah, 8/319).

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*BISMILLA HIRRAHMAAN NIRRAHEEM* - For children, - Power of Positive Talk, Avoiding Toxic Self-Talk, Negative Talking

Allah (SWT) the Exalted says in Noble Qur'an: "O you who believe! Be
careful of (your duty to) Allah and speak the right word." (33:70)
I remember my dad teaching me the power of language at a very young
age. Not only did my dad understand that specific words affect our
mental pictures, but he understood words are a powerful programming
factor in lifelong success.
One particularly interesting event occurred when I was eight. As a
kid, I was always climbing trees, poles, and literally hanging around
upside down from the rafters of our lake house. So, it came to no
surprise for my dad to find me at the top of a 30-foot tree swinging
back and forth. My little eight-year-old brain didn't realize the tree
could break or I could get hurt. I just thought it was fun to be up so
high.
My older cousin, Tammy, was also in the same tree. She was hanging on
the first big limb, about ten feet below me. Tammy's mother also
noticed us at the exact time my dad did. About that time a huge gust
of wind came over the tree. I could hear the leaves start to rattle
and the tree begin to sway. I remember my dad's voice over the wind
yell, "Bart, Hold on tightly." So I did.
The next thing I know, I heard Tammy screaming at the top of her
lungs, laying flat on the ground. She had fallen out of the tree.
I scampered down the tree to safety. My dad later told me why she fell
and I did not. Apparently, when Tammy's mother felt the gust of wind,
she yelled out, "Tammy, don't fall!" And Tammy did fall.
My dad then explained to me that the mind has a very difficult time
processing a negative image. In fact, people who rely on internal
pictures cannot see a negative at all. In order for Tammy to process
the command of not falling, her nine-year-old brain had to first
imagine falling, then try to tell the brain not to do what it just
imagined. Whereas, my eight-year-old brain instantly had an internal
image of me hanging on tightly.
This concept is especially useful when you are attempting to break a
habit or set a goal. You can't visualize not doing something. The only
way to properly visualize not doing something is to actually find a
word for what you want to do and visualize that. For example, when I
was thirteen years old, I played for my junior high school football
team. I tried so hard to be good, but I just couldn't get it together
at that age. I remember hearing the words run through my head as I was
running out for a pass, "Don't drop it!" Naturally, I dropped the
ball.
My coaches were not skilled enough to teach us proper "Self-Talk."
They just thought some kids could catch and others couldn't. I'll
never make it pro, but I'm now a pretty good Sunday afternoon football
player, because all my internal dialogue is positive and encourages me
to win. I wish my dad had coached me playing football instead of just
climbing trees. I might have had a longer football career.
Here is a very easy demonstration to teach your kids and your friends
the power of a toxic vocabulary. Ask them to hold a pen or pencil.
Hand it to them. Now, follow my instructions carefully. Say to them,
"Okay, try to drop the pencil." Observe what they do.
Most people release their hands and watch the pencil hit the floor.
You respond, "You weren't paying attention. I said TRY to drop the
pencil. Now please do it again." Most people then pick up the pencil
and pretend to be in excruciating pain while their hand tries but
fails to drop the pencil.
The point is made. If you tell your brain you will "give it a try,"
you are actually telling your brain to fail. I have a "no try" rule in
my house and with everyone I interact with. Either people will do it
or they won't. Either they will be at the party or they won't. I'm
brutal when people attempt to lie to me by using the word try. Do they
think I don't know they are really telegraphing to the world they have
no intention of doing it but they want me to give them brownie points
for pretended effort? You will never hear the words "I'll try" come
out of my mouth unless I'm teaching this concept in a seminar.
If you "try" and do something, your unconscious mind has permission
not to succeed. If I truly can't make a decision I will tell the
truth. "Sorry John. I'm not sure if I will be at your party or not.
I've got an outstanding commitment. If that falls through, I will be
here, Insha Allah. Otherwise, I will not. Thanks for the invite."
People respect honesty. So remove the word "try" from your vocabulary.
My dad also told me that psychologists claim it takes seventeen
positive statements to offset one negative statement. I have no idea
if it is true, but the logic holds true. It might take up to seventeen
compliments to offset the emotional damage of one harsh criticism.
These are concepts that are especially useful when raising children.
Ask yourself how many compliments you give yourself daily versus how
many criticisms. Heck, I know you are talking to yourself all day
long. We all have internal voices that give us direction.
So, are you giving yourself the 17:1 ratio or are you short changing
yourself with toxic self-talk like, "I'm fat. Nobody will like me.
I'll try this diet. I'm not good enough. I'm so stupid. I'm broke,
etc. etc."
If our parents can set a lifetime of programming with one wrong
statement, imagine the kind of programming you are doing on a daily
basis with your own internal dialogue. Here is a list of Toxic
Vocabulary words. Notice when you or other people use them.
*.BUT: Negates any words that are stated before it.
*.TRY: Presupposes failure.
*.IF: Presupposes that you may not.
*.MIGHT: It does nothing definite. It leaves options for your listener.
*.WOULD HAVE: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't
actually happen.
*.SHOULD HAVE: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't
actually happen (and implies guilt.)
*.COULD HAVE: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't
actually happen but the person tries to take credit as if it did
happen.
*.CAN'T/DON'T: These words force the listener to focus on exactly the
opposite of what you want. This is a classic mistake that parents and
coaches make without knowing the damage of this linguistic error.
Examples:
*.Toxic phrase: "Don't drop the ball!"
*.Likely result: Drops the ball
*.Better language: "Catch the ball!"
*.Toxic phrase: "You shouldn't watch so much television."
*.Likely result: Watches more television.
*.Better language: "I read too much television makes people stupid.
You might find yourself turning that TV off and picking up one of
those books more often!"
Exercise:
*.Take a moment to write down all the phrases you use on a daily basis
or any Toxic Self-Talk that you have noticed yourself using. Write
these phrases down so you will begin to catch yourself as they occur
and change them.
Forge a positive relationship with the world around you and the world
will become a better place for you to live. And remember: Make
positive Self-Talk a daily practice.

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Regards,
NAJIMUDEEN M/
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