my husband is gay and i have a 3 years old daughter. I am totally
dependent on my husband for living. I live in Canada and do not know
what to do. He goes to gay clubs every week. I asked a lawyer about
the legality of my divorce and she mentioned most probably he can take
my daughter from me because I can't provide her with a decent living.
I must also admit that my husband is not a bad person. he went to hajj
last year to overcome his homosexuality but he said he couldn't and
asked me to live with it. He also went to a psychitic here but he told
him that there is no cure for such disease. he prays all the time do
zakah but our relationship is getting worse and worse becasue i know
all his story. And i know he is cheating on me with other men At one
hand i feel pitty towards him becasue he was not raise in a decent
family. he has a very rude mother and his big brother molisted him for
long time. on the other hand i am afraid of Allah's curse on me and my
daughter. Please let me know what to do.. should i ask for a divorce
and risk my child OR remain silent on this huge sin? Should i tell his
family?? IS there a cure for such a disease??
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify
that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that
Muhammadis His slave and Messenger.
If you are sure that your husband is homosexual, then you should
advise him and remind him of Allaah and of His severe Punishment in
this life and in the Hereafter for whoever commits this act; look how
Allaah punished the people ofLoot)Lut(because of this abominable act.
As regards the treatment of this, then it is easy for whoever Allaah
made it easy for him. If your husband really wants to get rid of this
bad habit, then he has to be sincere with Allaah, and he should be
really determined to refrain from it, as Allaah does not forsake
whoever is sincere with Him; Allaah Says )what means(: }As for he who
gives and fears Allaah. And believes in the best ]reward[. We will
ease him toward ease.{]Quran 92:5-7[ Besides, the Prophetsaid about
one of his companions: "He was true to Allaah, so Allaah was true to
him ]i.e. fulfilled his needs[." ]Abdur-Razaaq[
Moreover, he should earnestly supplicate to Allaah as much as
possible; Allaah Says )what means(: }And when My servants ask you, ]O
Muhammad[, concerning Me-indeed I am near. I respond to the invocation
of the supplicant when he calls upon Me.{]Quran 2:186[
In addition to this, he should avoid the bad environment that helps
him to commit this sin, and he should be keen on keeping company with
righteous people. It is reported in a Hadeeth that a person killed 99
persons and he wanted to repent, so a scholar told him: "Go to such
and such land as there are people who worship Allaah there, so worship
Allaah with them, and do not go back to your land, as it is an evil
land." ]Muslim[ For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 90562and
88137.
It should be mentioned here that residing in a non-Muslim country
could be a means of much temptation, so if you are able to migrate to
a Muslim country, then you should do so, as this will help your
husband to repent. For more benefit on the ruling of migration from a
non-Muslim country, please refer to Fatwa 86405.
Then, if this man repents and becomes righteous, praise be to Allaah,
but if he persists on his situation, then you have the right to ask
for divorce, and if you wish, you may be patient with him and endeavor
to rectify him. If you advise him, then you would have done what is
required from you. We hope that you and your daughter will not be
cursed because of his act, as no bearer of burdens will bear the
burden of another. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 117370.
If we presume that divorce takes place, then you have the legal right
to foster this daughter, and if you remarry, the fostering will be
transferred to the female who has more right in fostering her after
you, like your mother. As regards her father ]your husband[, he has no
right to foster her as long as he is on this situation due to his
dissoluteness. Moreover, he is obligated to spend on her whether he is
the one who fosters her or it is you who fosters her; this is the
religious ruling and the law should not be taken into account if it
contradicts the Sharee'ah.
Allaah Knows best.
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Regards,
NAJIMUDEEN M/
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